erisdiscordia January 13, 2021 Penises: The Scourge of Adult Visual Novels.

Penises: The Scourge of Adult Visual Novels.

Approximately fifty percent of the planet has them. Big ones, small ones, floppy ones, dribbly ones. Yet for some reason there is generally only one type of penis that pops up in AVNs, and those are comically large ones that would likely result in sudden rapid blood loss and unconsciousness for the owner upon activation, if the scene were taking place in anything approximating reality. Of course, AVNs are fantasy, and a fantasy in which the player is generally self-inserting as the Protagonist, so if players want to have a giant dong, what’s the harm? Well, there’s no harm, per se, but having seen reactions around the community. I’ve come to the conclusion that Huge Hammy Hangers are more of a thing that devs expect they have to include as opposed to something that players actually want.

The average male penis size is about five inches, and amongst VN MC’s it’s closer to 18. (For research in writing this article, we here at LewdPixels had a crack team go out and compare rendered penis sizes to known object sizes in models using a formula that calculated actual penile length and girth using the volumetric equations of Voss Hair on G8F models.) This eighteen inch size results in comically unrealistic animations and situations where ‘serious’ sexual interactions are just impossible, because inevitably the MC winds up hilt-deep in the love interest, tickling the bottom of her lungs with his colossal crotch club – something that honestly ought to result in her untimely demise, but Patreon wouldn’t be okay with that fetish, so they’re allowed to live. So here is my proposal. We ought to bring VN MC dick sizes down to something akin to the upper size of ‘average’. It’ll still be bigger than the dongs on most players (thus fulfilling the penis size fantasy crowd), and not be comically huge and ridiculous for those of us who – while not wanting realism in our fantasy AVN games – would prefer something a big less ludicrous.

Which brings me to the third part of this little rant. Non-optional penises in otherwise Lesbian games. All I have to say there is why? If you’re making a Lesbian game, I can tell you that 99% of your target audience does NOT expect, or want, random dicks to just show up. There are plenty of games with cocks, as emphasized by my prior points, and Lesbian VNs are a niche genre. Those of us who play them wind up having to put a whole lot of time and effort into sorting out if games have ‘Pure Lesbian’ paths that let us avoid the content we don’t like. We even have to try and make threads on sites like F95zone to track this kind of thing. Devs need to realize that, akin to how players who dislike NTR would be super upset if all of a sudden 4 hours into a very good game, there was suddenly an unskippable cuckolding scene, and the random unskippable penis is basically a similar situation. It’s generally unwanted, unpleasant, and shocking. Here’s a secret, most of us people that are into Lesbian games also play Male MC games, but it’s about your mindset at the time, we go into it expecting them. We don’t need them randomly sprung on us unawares.

So please, if you’re making a game that features massive man-meats, please consider at least toning it down, if only to make your game a bit less of a trope. If you’re making an actual Lesbian game, avoid the unskippable penises – you’ll make the target audience of your game much happier. In the end, the ultimate goal is to tell the story you want to, and to make your players happy, and in either case, elephantine erections eye-fucking your erstwhile audience are generally not essential to the story – And in the end, it’s the story that matters. Or is it the plot?


Photo by Manuel Toro on Unsplash:

Original graphic from Medical News Today - Meme from iFunny:

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Vladimir Ignatiev
Vladimir Ignatiev
10 months ago

Good article! Sometimes all these exaggerations in AVN’s really spoil the impression.

10 months ago

While I completely agree with this article, my favorite porn is when a woman get destroyed by a huge penis. So, the fact that the character has a huge penis doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is when the girls they sleep with act like it’s normal. With a penis that size at least one of them should run to the other side of the bed, scream, or just say hell no altogether.

10 months ago

It probably doesn’t help that the default size of the Dictator graft, a very commonly used penis add-on, is “meat club”. If you’re a dev starting out, you’ll probably inclined to think that by reducing that to something slightly more realistic, you’re already behind in the, eh, third arms race before you’ve even released the first episode?

10 months ago
Reply to  NaughtyRoad

This ^

Many devs when first starting out don’t realise there’s a whole bunch of morphs that can make that third arm much smaller.

And then there’s devs that just cant be bothered. So you run into the issue of oversized and un realistic dongs.

these day’s I’m just thankful the artist has managed to double click the Material copy so the dick colour actually matches the model used.

10 months ago

can some one please tell me a good lesbiean game

Teri (Nine of Swords)
Teri (Nine of Swords)(@nineofswords)
10 months ago

Excellent work! And yes, we definitely need more “pure lesbian” VNs.

Also, “Random Unskippable Penis” is the name of my punk cover band.

10 months ago

I recommend my game Panacea, where all penis is optional.