Ariel Anderssen June 1, 2021 A journalist just wrote about porn, so I (a porn performer) wrote about journalism

A journalist just wrote about porn, so I (a porn performer) wrote about journalism

Editors Note: Last week the public could be forgiven for believing that Buzzfeed was being infested by Brain Slugs when they put out an article on the porn industry.

The ignorance and irresponsibility displayed by the outlet was scary and dangerous … but rather than doing a serious analysis of their bigotry, we’re going to turn this week’s potluck Tuesday over to Ariel Anderssen, who wrote an amusing rebuttal on Twitter.

Ariel Anderssen granted LewdPixels.com permission to re-post her article, so, of course we did.


This may be TMI, but I’m not a journalist. I don’t read newspapers or magazines. I’d much prefer a saucy romance novel to reading the opinionated idiocy of strangers who feel 100% comfortable blaring out their prejudices to the general public without troubling themselves over doing any actual research.

So I decided to vaguely cast around and see what sort of thing unkindly-disposed people on the internet save about journalists. I was intrigued, to say the least. However, after reading them, I moved from intrigued to disturbed. Cos, they’re absolutely definitely correct. Why wouldn’t they be?

Here are some of the most harrowing responses (definitely, definitely true):

Warning: Some responses include lies and incompetence but I really couldn’t say cos I COULDN’T BE BOTHER TO CHECK, OK?

  1. I once heard of five journalists in a flat share on the wrong side of Clapham Common. They only have one bathroom between them. The story haunts me to this day.

  2. A lot of journalists have to start out writing for trade journals and local newspapers before they’re allowed to move on to The Daily Telegraph. I’ve looked into their broken, piteous faces – used up husks at 27. And those articles they wrote on vegetable festivals in Sowerby Bridge will always still be there on the internet, shaming them in later years.

  3. A newspaper editor shared that, while in the office, a lot of stories would be written without research, and anyone who wanted to use research was encouraged not to.

  4. A friend of mine worked as one of those agony aunts on websites where you write in to get your questions answered. He’s not actually an aunt.

  5. Almost every newsroom smells like sweat and shit. And Red Bull.

  6. A female journalist revealed that frequent and rough tube journeys have resulted in varicose veins and alcoholism.

  7. Allegedly, a lot of 18-year-old journalists were recruited when they were still at school, being exploited as free labour for their school magazines. What chance did they have?

  8. The News of the World, a famous newspaper, hacked a murdered schoolgirl’s phone. So they’re all guilty by association, forever.

  9. There’s a scene in the documentary Max Clifford – the Fall of a Tabloid King where many young women are coerced into sexual activity, by Max Clifford. The author of this article (me, Ariel Anderssen), had to stop watching because I didn’t feel comfortable. And Max Clifford worked extensively with journalists. So basically all journalists are Max Clifford. Watch out.

  10. Menstruating journalists still have to work while on their period – they would place tampons in their vaginas and then remove them at the end of the day. Fucking barbaric.

  11. 40 years ago, being a journalist was even worse than it is today. We should just give up on journalism. They didn’t even pay women equally. ON HANG ON, THEY STILL DON’T.

  12. Most of the extremely large pictures seen in newspapers are actually only pictures, not real things. If you try putting your hand into the picture you’ll just tear the paper. It’s iniquitous.

  13. The slapping sound you hear during newspaper editors’ meetings in their private offices is absolutely not the sound of them coercing anyone into sex. Don’t worry about that. It’s literally never happened.

  14. A lot of “professionals” in journalism aren’t actually professionals. Surprise!

This article was originally posted on Twitter by Ariel Anderssen.

Attribution(s)

Cover image of Ariel Anderssen by John Tisbury Photography: https://www.artlimited.net/3113

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